Where to start, why to start

July 10, 2015

This morning I woke up and perused Facebook, as I do many mornings. I clicked on a link to the article: 23 Things All Black Kids at Liberal Arts Colleges Will Understand. A fellow Mac alum posted it, so I thought back to my experiences at Macalester. I thought about my liberal upbringing that launched me into a school that espouses superficial tolerance without teaching students how to strive to be truly anti-racist. I thought about how few students of color I knew (especially when I when I don't include international students). Then I thought about the ONE professor of color I had:  Don Belton. English professor extraordinaire. I took two classes from him: Black Masculinity and Writing.

In the Black Masculinity course, we read Ralph Ellison, Richard Wright, bell hooks and James Baldwin. I turned in one of my worst pieces of writing and Belton returned it with an F and a passing comment that went something like, "This was a waste of my time." I stayed after despite my humiliation. I asked if I could rewrite it, and he conceded as long as I was ready to write something interesting. As long as I was willing to dig. I wrote an essay on the emasculation of black men in society as seen in Invisible Man and Native Son. I'm sure it wasn't amazing, but I had an original thought and I dared to explore it, and Don Belton supported me, not by patting me on the back, but by pushing and demanding and expecting. He taught me I could expect more of myself.

So this morning, I googled Don Belton because I knew he had left Macalester, but I didn't know where he ended up. He was murdered five years ago. He was murdered five years ago. Even though I hadn't thought about him for years, I feel so sad thinking that there is a world where he is not. Every student deserves a Don Belton. And for some reason, this has led me to decide to sit down and write about race on this blog every day for one year. I don't think I will be brave enough to share it until I have written at least a few posts, but hopefully, I will dare, dig and expect it of myself. We'll see.